Updated December 19, 2024. Originally published December 13, 2021.
Finding a sponsor for drug rehab and recovery support is essential for living a newly sober life. A recovery sponsor provides accountability and support to people who are new to recovery programs and processes. Sponsors have experience in 12-step programs through their own recovery journeys, and they use their knowledge and experiences to help others. Those new to recovery can find sponsors by attending 12-step or other recovery-based meetings.
What Is a Recovery Sponsor for Addiction?
A recovery sponsor is an individual with experience in recovery who supports another through recovery work and maintaining sobriety.
Dr. Bob Smith and Bob Wilson, known as Dr. Bob and Bob W. by the community, began the Alcoholics Anonymous program in 1935. Wilson craved alcohol after a few months of sobriety and realized how helpful it would be to talk to someone who shared the same struggle he was experiencing. He reached out to Smith, and they both learned how essential it is to receive support and support others in recovery.Â
They developed the 12-step framework, and sponsorship became an important component. Sponsorship helps sponsors and sponsees maintain sober lives. While its main purpose is to help individuals avoid substances, it also helps people grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Working with a sponsor for drug addiction can help you stay more connected to the recovery process and community, and recent studies associate sponsorship with lower anxiety and reduced psychiatric symptoms.
What Do Recovery Sponsors Do?
Because sponsors have experience in maintaining sobriety and substance use disorder challenges, they offer support in the following ways.
Guide Others Through Recovery Work
An addiction sponsor guides a sponsee through recovery program steps, traditions, activities and methods to help them maintain sobriety. Your sponsor may help you work through questions in a recovery workbook or share special tips that helped them in their personal recovery. Sponsors usually have a few years of successful sobriety and participation in the 12-step community, so they have plenty of knowledge and experience to share.
Help Others Understand How Recovery Programs Work
A sponsor can also answer any questions you have. They can explain recovery terms that might be confusing to newcomers, how meetings are structured and the rules for speaking during meetings. This can be especially helpful for people who might feel uncomfortable in social situations.
Offer Connection and Encouragement
A recovery sponsor encourages their sponsees to ensure they feel supported and connected throughout the recovery process. Substance use disorder can often harm a person’s relationships with loved ones that they had in the past, causing them to feel isolated. A sponsor can step in as a sympathetic companion to offer connection and remind them they’re not alone by contacting them regularly and meeting with them.
Sponsors also provide practical and emotional support. They encourage sponsees to attend recovery meetings and activities to stay connected with the recovery community. Some sponsors form close relationships with their sponsees by becoming a significant part of their everyday lives, while others provide more formal support.Â
Qualities of a Good Recovery Sponsor
It may seem intimidating to choose a sponsor at first, but the most important thing is to find a sponsor you feel comfortable with but who won’t be a distraction. For example, you’ll want to consider your sexual orientation to minimize the risk of developing romantic relationships that may interfere with sponsorship. When choosing a sponsor, look for the following six qualities.Â
1. Knowledge and Experience in Recovery
A sponsor should have at least several months or a year of recovery, and further experience with sobriety is even better. They should have a solid understanding of the 12 steps and maintain a lifestyle that follows the steps. They should also attend meetings regularly and lead by example by living a sober lifestyle.
2. Attentiveness
A helpful sponsor should be attentive and listen closely to what their sponsee shares with them, so they can give the most helpful advice possible. They should ask questions to clarify and try to read between the lines for a more complete understanding of what their sponsee is going through in their recovery process. If a sponsor makes you feel as if you are heard and valuable, they might be the right match for you.
3. An Open Mind
Sponsors should be open-minded and understand that everyone’s recovery path is different. What worked for them may not work for you, and they should respect that. Something that helps them stay sober might not help you stay sober, and they should recognize that you might need to do things differently from them.
4. Honesty
A sponsor should make you feel safe to share anything with them. They should keep your conversations anonymous and refrain from sharing the things you say with anyone else. They should also offer honest feedback and advice free from judgment or shame. The truth may be painful or uncomfortable to hear, but it’s crucial that sponsors give you advice and feedback to support your recovery.
5. A Willingness to Validate Your Feelings
When a person uses alcohol or other substances to cope with emotions, those emotions can feel overwhelming when they stop using the substances. A good sponsor will remind you that it’s normal to feel numerous emotions and that what matters most is your reactions to your emotions. A sponsor should make you feel comfortable enough to share your feelings and give you advice about how to manage your emotions safely.
6. Respectful of Time and Boundaries
It’s also important to choose a sponsor who knows they have enough free time to fill the role. Some sponsors can handle sponsoring more than one person at a time, while others prefer to devote all of their attention to one sponsee. You should try to choose a sponsor who knows how to set boundaries. Some sponsors will be more compassionate and open, while others are more formal and detached, but a sponsor should never act as a therapist.
When Should You Choose a Sponsor?
The right time to choose a recovery sponsor depends on your unique needs. You may enter recovery and feel you need immediate support, or you may need some time to meet people and decide who can best support you. Attending many meetings can help you get to know people and determine who you feel most comfortable with.
While it’s vital to reach out for support when you are new to recovery, you have the right to decline sponsorship offers. If someone doesn’t feel like the right fit, it’s OK to say no. The important thing is to reach out for help when you find someone who you feel may be a good recovery sponsor for you.
Can You Change Sponsors?
You can change sponsors if needed. If you choose a sponsor early in your recovery who isn’t quite the right fit, or if you simply feel you need a different sponsor at any point, you can choose a new sponsor.Â
You should feel comfortable with your sponsor, so you are allowed to switch sponsors whenever you feel your current sponsor is not the best support for your recovery or you find a sponsor who is a better fit for you.
Your Role as a Sponsee
When a person begins their recovery journey and joins a 12-step program, they are encouraged to find a sponsor and become a sponsee. As a sponsee, your main responsibility is to participate in the 12-step community and work toward your recovery goals. Researchers have found that connecting to social support networks helps people improve recovery outcomes and maintain long-term sobriety.
Sponsees can involve themselves in the 12-step process by:
- Attending daily meetings.
- Volunteering to help with meeting setup or cleaning.
- Reading recovery literature.
- Engaging in sober activities.
- Sharing challenges and personal growth experiences during meetings.
Openly sharing your challenges and growth can help you feel more connected to and supported by a recovery group. It can also help encourage others in the group to continue working on their recovery.
As a sponsee, you also positively impact your sponsor’s life. You give your sponsor the opportunity to help another person in need, which helps them maintain their sobriety, and you can offer encouraging words when they experience challenges.
Tips for the Sponsor-Sponsee Relationship
For a successful sponsorship, sponsees must follow several guidelines.
1. Attend All Meetings With Your Sponsor
Attend all meetings with your sponsor, and give notice if you can’t attend. One advantage of sponsorship is having someone to hold you accountable and motivate you to attend meetings, so this is one of the most important aspects of your sponsor-sponsee relationship.
2. Set and Respect Boundaries
Ask your sponsor how they prefer to communicate and what times of the day are best to reach them. Some sponsors might prefer email and text, while others prefer phone calls. They may reserve evenings for family and only take calls during the day, or they may work all day and prefer to talk in the evenings. When you find a sponsor, talk with them to determine how many calls per day or week you are both comfortable with.
Sponsors are meant to be supportive, but they also have to focus on their personal lives, so it’s vital to respect their time. Set clear boundaries that you are both comfortable with. Some sponsors and sponsees talk often and spend a lot of time together, while others have a more distant and formal relationship. You should set boundaries early in the sponsorship to ensure you and your sponsor understand how to respect each other best.
3. Complete Any Work Assigned During Recovery Meetings
Activities or exercises assigned during recovery meetings can help you grow emotionally and spiritually. Read recovery program literature that your group or sponsor recommends, and complete workbook activities to learn more about yourself.
4. Keep Conversations Focused on Recovery
It’s also crucial to respect your sponsor’s privacy and try to keep your conversations focused on addiction, recovery and sobriety. Avoid talking about personal troubles unrelated to your recovery journey, and avoid asking your sponsor too many personal questions unrelated to their recovery. Sponsors are not therapists and cannot provide professional help, but they can act as mentors and offer support related to addiction recovery.
You may receive assignments in your 12-step meetings to help you get the most out of the program and support your recovery. If you receive work to complete with your sponsor, make your best effort to do the work, so it can benefit your recovery.
Becoming a Sponsor Yourself
Becoming a recovery sponsor gives you the opportunity to help others in need and maintain your own sobriety. While sponsorship offers a great way to continue your recovery journey and help others, you must remember that it comes with a lot of responsibility.
Experience
Before you become a sponsor, it’s best to attain several months to a couple of years of sobriety. This period gives you enough time to learn and grow through your own recovery, so you feel equipped with knowledge and experience to share with others. You should have a solid understanding of the 12-step program and how to maintain a sober lifestyle.
Availability
Sponsorship requires patience, understanding, compassion and time. Before you commit to being a sponsor, make sure you have the time to dedicate to mentoring another person. When people are new to recovery, they often feel overwhelmed and need someone who will take the time to guide them through the recommended methods and steps. As a sponsor, you will need to be available to offer support.
Readiness
If you’re not sure if you’re ready to be a sponsor yet, your own sponsor can be a great resource. Ask your sponsor for advice if you feel you may be ready to become a sponsor yourself. They can offer valuable insight into whether you may be ready to provide sponsorship.
Why Trust Diamond House Detox for Recovery Treatment?
At Diamond House Detox, we provide a compassionate community of therapists, counselors, medical professionals and recovering individuals to support your recovery. We facilitate on-site 12-step meetings where you can connect with a sponsor, and our experienced professionals provide various types of therapy and Incidental Medical Services.
We take a holistic approach to recovery, providing evidence-based treatment and individualized plans based on your personal needs. Our team includes a drug and alcohol counselor, addiction psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, nurses, medical assistants and a personal on-site chef committed to your physical and mental health. Our qualified mental health professionals perform comprehensive, in-depth evaluations to identify your specific needs, offering dual-diagnosis treatment for addiction and co-occurring conditions. Read our client testimonials to learn more about how we can support your recovery.
Contact Us for Individualized Rehab Services in Northern California
Sponsorship is essential for a successful recovery. At Diamond House Detox, you can find a safe and compassionate place to attend AA and NA meetings for support through your recovery. Our treatment facilities also have medical providers who can provide Incidental Medical Services, such as medically assisted detox and injections, if needed. Since our medical providers work within our facilities, they can create personal treatment plans, including medication adjustments.
At Diamond House Detox, we believe evidence-based medical treatment combined with the 12-step program and social support is the best way to prevent relapse. You can receive medically monitored detox while being treated for co-occurring disorders such as mental health conditions so that you can work toward a more successful recovery. Contact Diamond House Detox to learn more about how we can help you recover.
Vicky is a board certified Family Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, certified by the American Nurses Credentialing Center. She began her nursing career in healthcare by working in the intensive care unit, and then an inpatient psychiatric hospital. After realizing the mental health needs of both the patients and the families she served, she became a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. Throughout her experience working with clients, she has developed a passion for those with dual diagnoses and specializes in helping individuals recognize the issues driving their substance use. This recognition has been crucial to the individual’s success in treatment. Vicky opened Diamond House Detox so that she can address these issues early on in a therapeutic environment to allow clients to transition to the next level in their recovery.
